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It's great to be in Jackson, see, I don't even have to enunciate tonight, that -
Because in a lot of parts of the country, you know, people hear me talk
They automatically want to deduct 100 IQ points
Because apparently the southern accent's
Not the world's most intelligent sounding accent
You know, and to be honest, I mean
None of us would want to hear our brain surgeon say
I know, what we all we're gonna do is
Saw the top of your head off
Root around in there with a stick
And see if we can't find that dad-burnt clot
He's like, no, thanks, I'll just die, okay
See, that's why southern financial advisors have such a tough time
Nobody wants to give their money to somebody that talks this way
Well, the key is you've got to diversify with your money
What we'll do, we'll take half of it, put it in a big mayonnaise jar
Bury it out in your backyard
The other half we'll take down to the dog track
And bet on the one that does his business right before the race starts
And you know, we're not stupid in the South
I mean, we have words in the South
They don't have in other parts of the country
My brother will use this one, used to could
Can you dance? Well, I used to could
You give me a minute, I might could again
I'll tell you a good southern word, in there
My Uncle Gene will say that usually when he comes
Out of the bathroom after Thanksgiving, I wouldn't go in there if I was y'all
And I know you heard this with somebody
You go see somebody you haven't seen in a while
You go up to them, and they go, how's your mom and them?
Tellable
I'll tell you, my granddaddy would use the word, "Ewins"
Which is y'all plus three, that's what that is
I think my current favorite southern word is sensuous
Told my old lady, sensuous up, get me a beer