Year of the Child

Baruch, baruch atah

Baruch atah Adonai

Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu

Melech haolam

Asher kidshanu, asher kidshanu

V'tzivanu l'hitateif batzitzit

Jason, dear, hello

Are you packed and waiting?

But before we go

Let me speak with father alone

Now as the bar mitzvah nears

Jason, put your Walkerman on and hum

Since this is the last loving thing

We'll probably ever do together

Let's act adult and not go crazy

Have you chosen yet who'll cater?

What about it?

I know a person who should cater

It's a personal decision who should cater

Can we consider who's gonna cater?

Shh

Please

Argh

Please

Shhhh

Please

Stop!

This is so much crap

Throw a simple party

Religion's just a trap

That ensnares the weak and the dumb

Hey, stop with the prayers

How can you stop with the prayers

At a bar mitzvah?

The whole thing's voodoo

And I know more than you do

This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah

We're more excited than we should be

This is the year of the child

When he spreads out his wings

There's music in his heart

His life's about to start

His body's going wild

My child

My child

Our child

Children, please

Throw the kid a celebration

And relax

I'll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks

We'll have a ball

I guess I'll have to raise this Jason myself

Isn't he an asshole? (My own bar mitzvah was...)

Yes, he is

Isn't he too much? (A miserable occasion)

Yes, but so are you

Really, kiddo, so are you (The cause for such abrasion)

Isn't he an asshole? (in my family)