What I Know Now

I was hot

I went to parties a lot

Y'know?

I was driving Lamborghinis

Sipping super-dry martinis

In the tiniest bikinis on a yacht

But I was depressed

Also completely obsessed

An unhappy beauty queen

Who dreamed to be Miss Argentina

I had such low self-esteem

I was a mess

So I gave it all up for the netherworld

I've been here forever, girl

If I was more clever, girl

I would've stuck it out

Knowing what life's about

Pain and joy and suffering

Failing but recovering

I'll tell you another thing

Everyone here is alone

So if you are breathing

Go home!

If I knew then

What I know now

I would have looked within and let love in somehow

If I only knew

The truth back then

I wouldn't have had my little accident

Don't be blind

You left your whole life behind

See a shrink

Call a priest

Ask the recently deceased

Death is final and you cannot press rewind

Don't jump when the light is red

Toasters should be used for bread

Never smoke cigars in bed

Nietzsche was right, y'know, to live is to suffer, bro

Don't cheat on the one you wed

Never whip a thoroughbred

Angry pygmys shrunk his head

Why did it take death to see

Happiness was up to me?

If I knew then

What I know now

I would've laughed and danced

And lanced every sacred cow

I thought I knew

But I was wrong

'Cause life is short

But death is super long

I exploded!

If I knew then (If I knew)

What I know now

I would've crossed every line

And drank all the wine

Before my final bow