Hobbit Drinking Medley

Oh, you can search far and wide

You can drink the whole town dry

But you'll never find a beer so brown

(But you'll never find a beer so brown)

But you'll never find a beer so brown

As the one we drink in our hometown

You can keep your fancy ales

You can drink 'em by the flagon

And the only brew for the brave and true

Comes from the Green Dragon

Hey, oh, to the bottle I go

To heal my heart and drown my woe

Rain may fall and wind may blow

There still be many miles to go

Sweet is the sound of the pouring pain

And the stream that falls from hill to plain

Better than rain or rippling brook

Is a mug of beer inside this Took

Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses, crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

Cut the cloth, trail the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

Then when you've finished, if they are whole

Send them down the hall to roll

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

There's an inn, there's an inn

There's a merry old inn, beneath the old grey hill

And there they brew a beer so brown

The man in the Moon himself came down

One night to drink his fill

Ooh, the ostler has a tipsy cat

That plays a five-stringed fiddle

And up and down he saws his bow

Now squeaky high

Now purring low

Now sawing in the middle

So, the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle

A jig that would wake the dead

He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the tune

While the landlord shook by the Man in the Moon

"It's after three!" he said

Now, Quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle

Dog began to roar

The cows and the horses stood on their heads

The guests all bounded from their beds

And danced upon the floor

The round Moon rolled behind the hill

Sun raised up her head

She hardly believed her fiery eyes

For it was day, to her surprise

They all went back to bed