The Last Great Waltz

Jonathan W. Astor was a master dancing man

He danced the day that he was born, his parents thought him grand

The tango and the samba he did with great élan

But most he liked to dance the waltz until the break of dawn

I like the waltz, it has its faults

For there are some dances more fancy

I like the waltz simply because

It makes me feel so dancy

One day he got an invitation to a ballroom dance

And he decided to accept, for he might get a chance

To dance with lovely ladies with perfume in their hair

Or even fat and ugly ones, he really didn't care

But at the ball the same old story made his evening grim

He was a perfectionist and none would dance with him

So he thought he'd just go home and write an anguished poem

But on his way out he saw a girl dancing all alone

I like the waltz, it has its faults

It's not much fun unless danced by two

I wish I knew somebody who

Would waltz with me, I'm so blue, damn you

She was waltzing by herself there in a little nook

He quietly walked to where she was to get a better look

She was a little different from either you or me

For she did not have two good legs, she had one, two, three

I like the waltz, I have my faults

I have three legs but I'm in good health

I like the waltz mostly because

I have to dance all by myself

First the right foot, then the mid foot

Then the left foot, then a repeat

So make no mistakes, I've got what it takes

One, two, three feet for waltzing is neat

Jonathan W. Astor asked her, "Would you like to dance?"

To which she answered, "Yes"

So they began to waltz in a most peculiar way

She had three legs, he had two, and they were heard to say

We like the waltz, we have our faults

But we are happy for the first time

Though we are different, we took a chance

And found true love in an odd deep romance