Better Stories

If you never hit a cow at 3 a.m.

In a borrowed Oldsmobile

Played cards all night in the county jail

With the one arm man name Phil

If you never counted ball off the fifth floor rail

And do a bull at the Holiday Inn

'Cause it was Panama City, you were drunk and she was pretty

The paramedics gave you a prefect ten

And when we're old and rocking on the porch

Re-living all our glory

You might have a few less scars

But I'll have better stories

If you never been bitten by a snake in a church

While you sang "Amazing Grace"

If you never had to bribe a border guard

To overlook that one suitcase

If you never hustle pool in a biker bar

And had an eight ball break your nose

Then hit the first Harley with the front of your truck

Just to watch them all fall like dominoes

When we're old and rocking on the porch

Re-living all our glory

You might have a few less scars

But I'll have better stories

If you never been banned from a Taco Bell

If you didn't fry your nest's egg

If you never had a doctor say "what the hell?"

As a little mad nurse climbed out of your bed

When we're old and rocking on the porch

Re-living all our glory

You might have a few less scars

But I'll have better stories

You might have both brain cells left

But I'll have better stories

I don't even know where half these scars came from

Somebody remembers though I can't, do you?

I know this one right here was from that jump across that car

On that bicycle, you dared me, I did it

Girls do love scars