Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)

Now I'm a fellow with a heart of gold

With the ways of a gentleman I've been told

A kind of a fellow that wouldn't even harm a flea

But if me and a certain character met

That guy that invented the cigarette

I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree

That ain't that I don't smoke myself

And I don't reckon they'll injure your health

I've smoked 'em all my life and I ain't dead yet

But nicotine slaves are all the same

At a pheasant party or a poker game

Everything's gotta stop when they have that cigarette

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette

Puff puff puff

And if you smoke yourself to death

Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate

That you hate to make him wait

But you just gotta have another cigarette

Now at a game of chance the other night

Ol' Dame Forson wasn't doin' me right

Them kings and queens just kept on comin' round

Well I got a full and I bet it high

But my plug didn't work on a certain guy

He just kept a risin' and a layin' that money down

He's raise me and I'd raise him

I sweated blood I had to sink or swim

He finally called and he didn't raise the bet

I said "aces is full pal how about you?"

He said "I'll tell you in a minute or two

But I just gotta have another cigarette"

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette

Puff puff puff

And if you smoke yourself to death

Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate

That you hate to make him wait

But you just gotta have another cigarette

The other night I had a date with

The cutest gal in the fifty states

A high bred uptown social little dame

She said she loved me and it seemed to me

That things were like they ought a be

So hand in hand we strolled down Lover's Lane

She was oh so far from a chunk of ice

And our smoochin' party was a goin' real nice

So help and I think I'd of been there yet