The Experiment

Here's my confession

I was looking for the pleasure

Of feeling so elevated

(Like indeed I was created)

I thought I had found it and I was feeling so lucky

Now I find myself hanging

(To ideals from ancestors)

The voice that tells me to keep going

Wants to shut up and lie dormant

And the voice of regret

Is still yearning to be heard

And the way things keep going seem arranged in an order

I so want to give up

Any ideals of perfection, my deceptions, and perceptions

These are all just my creations

And this is how I'm God: I will think ill then I'll see all float away

The fog, the boredom, the concoctions

All the different actions that have brought me to this point

If I were to quit

What would I do with my life

Do I want this for sure?

And if I went back and behaved like everyone

I really can't see through

Is it cowardice, but a coward I am not

And this experiment only

Keeps going and going and there's no way to stop it

I authentically can't be authentic in confusion

And the way things keep going seem arranged in an order

I so need to give up

Any ideals of perfection, my deceptions

And perceptions, these are all just my creations

And this is how I'm God: I will think ill then I'll see all float away

The fog, the boredom, the concoctions

All the different actions that have brought me to this point

So here's my confession

I was looking for the pleasure

Of feeling so elevated

Like indeed I was created

I thought I had found it and I was feeling so lucky

Now I find myself hanging

To ideals from ancestors