The Only Way I Could Save Myself Now Is If I Start Firebombing

This debilitating cynicism leaves me throwing fists

blindly, unkindly I deliberately hide so that you can find me.

Unmentionable, the seeking of attention that we require,

and I impede my own libido with a silent fear of fire.

Hold me higher than your loved ones,

mask my bad intentions.

I wish I was as pure as my lustlessness suggested.

Go fall, I'll hold you back.

surround myself with your artifacts.

My mind wanders with a sense of urgency.

I watch you fade away from me.

I discreetly try to imbibe the origins of your resentment.

Above me you reside as I strive for mere acceptance.

Escaping dignity, I ruined the pedestals I built,

and bruised by your excuses I characteristically wilt,

condemned by a guilt that I can't abandon, I lessen to the floor.

I've derobed your more times with my eyes than you have with your paws.