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Sencillo / Pista
Travel, they say, improves the mind
An irritating platitude
Which frankly, entre nous
Is very far from true
Personally I've yet to find
That longitude and latitude
Can educate those scores
Of monumental bores
Who travel in groups and herds and troops
Of various breeds and sexes
Till the whole world reels
To shouts and squeals
And the clicking of Rolleiflexes
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel
When the right people stay back home?
What compulsion compels them
And who the hell tells them
To drag their clans to Zanzibar
Instead of staying quietly in Omaha?
The Taj Mahal and the Grand Canal
And the sunny French Riviera
Would be less oppressed if the Middle West
Would settle for somewhere rather nearer
Please do not think that I criticize or cavil
At a genuine urge to roam
But why, oh, why do the wrong people travel
When the right people stay back home
And mind their business
When the right people stay back home
With Cinerama
When the right people stay back home?
I'm merely asking
Why the right people stay back home
Just when you think romance is ripe
It rather sharply dawns on you
That each sweet serenade
Is for the tourist trade
Any attractive native type
Who resolutely fawns on you
Will give as his address
American Express
There isn't a rock between Bangkok
And the beaches of Hispaniola
That does not recoil
From suntan oil
And the gurgle of Coca-Cola
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel
When the right people stay back home?
What explains this mass mania
To leave Pennsylvania
And clack around like flocks of geese
Demanding dry martinis on the isles of Greece?
In the smallest street where the gourmets meet
They invariably fetch up
And it's hard to make them accept a steak
That isn't served rare and smeared with ketchup
Millions of tourists are churning up the gravel
While they gaze at Saint Peter's dome
But why, oh, why do the wrong people travel
When the right people stay back home
And eat hot doughnuts
When the right people stay back home
With all those benefits
When the right people stay back home?
I sometimes wonder
Why the right people stay back home
What peculiar obsessions
Inspire those processions
Of families from Houston, Tex
With all those cameras around their necks?
They will take a train or an aeroplane
For an hour on the Costa Brava
And they'll see Pompeii on the only day
When it's up to its neck in molten lava
It would take years to unravel, ravel, ravel
Every impulse that makes them roam
But why, oh, why do the wrong people travel
When the right people stay back home
With all that Kleenex
When the right people stay back home
With Dr. Brothers
When the right people stay back home
With all those Kennedys
When the right people stay back home?
Won't someone tell me
Why the right, I said the right, people stay away back home?