Lonesome Cowboy Burt

My name is Burtram, I am a redneck

All my friends, they call me Burt (hi, Burt)

All my family from down in Texas

Make their livin' diggin' dirt

Come out here to Californy

Just to find me some pretty girls

Once I've seen, gets me so horny

Ruby lips and teeth like pearls

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly

Wanna pretty girl, I'll even pay

I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em jewelry

I know they like me, here's what I say

I'm lonesome Cowboy Burt (speakin' atcha)

Come smell my fringe-y shirt (reekin' atcha)

My cowboy pants, my cowboy dance

My bold advance on this here waitress

Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey

Yodel-oh-ooh

He's lonesome Cowboy Burt

Don'tcha get his feeling hurt

Come on in this place

And I'll buy you a taste

You can sit on my face

Where's my waitress?

Burtram, Burtram redneck

Burtram, Burtram redneck

I'm an awful nice guy, sweat all day in the sun

Roofer by trade, quite a bundle I've made

I'm unionized roofin' old son of a gun

(He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun)

When I get off, I get plasterd

Drink 'til I fall on the floor

Find me some communist bastard

And stomp on his face 'til he don't move no more

(He stomps on his face 'til he don't move no more)

I fuss, and I cuss and I keep on drinkin'

'Til my eyes puff up and turn red

I drool on my shirt, I see if he's hurt

Kick him again in the head, yes

Kick him again in the head, boys

Kick him again in the head, now

Kick him again in the head

Lonesome Cowboy Burt (speakin' atcha)

Come smell my fringe-y shirt (reekin' atcha)

My cowbody pants, my cowboy dance

My bold advance on this here waitress

Yodel-oh-ooh-pee-hey

Yodel-oh-ooh-pee

He's lonesome Cowboy Burt

A-don'tcha get his feelings hurt