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Me and my buds
We're hangin out in the Walmart parkin' lot
It's our weekly meet up
Laughin
Jokin
Tellin' stories
It's a good time
That was until
Ole Jake
Had this one story
That shook us to the very core
He achieved the goal
Self suckin' his Johnson
How he did it?
I don't know
I guess I really don't wanna know either
All I can say is
He actually achieved it
But ole Jake
Self-sucked
Yeah
Ole Jake
Self-sucked his own Johnson
Boy I tell ya
The whole group was shocked
There was an awkward moment of silence
Where we didn't know what to say
Should we be impressed?
Concerned?
Or both?
It's a helluva feat I guess
Someone finally piped up and asked"Jake, how did you do it?"
He replied"I'm glad you asked
But I'm gonna keep it a secret"
Ole Jake was known to be like that
Always trying to keep things a mystery
But now I'm wondering
What the group's gonna do
He achieved the goal
Self suckin' his Johnson
How he did it?
I don't know
I guess I really don't wanna know either
All I can say is
He actually achieved it
But ole Jake
Self-sucked
Yeah
Ole Jake
Self-sucked his own Johnson
Turns out
When we all got home
There was a spark of curiosity
Cause let me tell ya
Just about all the guys went on a mission
To suck their own thang
He achieved the goal
Self suckin' his Johnson
How he did it?
I don't know
I guess I really don't wanna know either
All I can say is
He actually achieved it
But ole Jake
Self-sucked
Yeah
Ole Jake
Self-sucked his own Johnson
He achieved the goal
Self suckin' his Johnson
How he did it?
I don't know
I guess I really don't wanna know either
All I can say is
He actually achieved it
But ole Jake
Self-sucked
Yeah
Ole Jake
Self-sucked his own Johnson
This just in
A group of males died in a self suck accident
Police have issued a warrant out for a local named Jake as a suspect of interest
More at eleven