If I Had Me a Woman

Well if I had me a woman who is big and fat

I'd jump up and down like an alleycat

If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman

If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around

If I had me a woman who is lean and tall

I'd lay down with her, crake a big wolf call

If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman

If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around

Well I'd stand on my head 'till I lost my breath

Then I'd grab her and I'd squeeze her half to death

If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman

If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around

Now if I had me a woman as skinny as a flea

I'd be as happy as a monkey in a tree

If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman

If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around

Now I'd jump up and down and I'd turn a few flips

And I'd grab her and I'd kiss her on her pretty sweet lips

If I had me a woman, if I had me a woman

If I had me a woman I wouldn't be roamin' around