Progression

Just counting how many times

I could effortlessly dig my ditch

Keep it landlocked and 6 feet deep

Whatever keeps it cheap

Rather watch as nature takes me

Then smell wood eternally

Can't imagine any other

Would be much better

If I could write a letter

To younger me

I'd say

Take those days where you

Did nothing and do it again

A billion times til you 18 and

Use for every inch instead

Maybe I would have been dead

Or over my head

But just like they said

It means nothing

When you done nothing

Commit to music or coding

Both will come

At this time

I wouldn't have done anything else

She had you under her thumb

And barley lifted it as she

Fed you a crumb

Sometimes it was better and Sometimes it was worse

I'd say it's a woman trying her best That can never fix her hurt

And you have it too

It's the depression that

Comes through

And tries to tell you

To leave this situation at all costs

Where we going

Is how you hear this with thought

Learned enough

That you can be taught

Maybe I would have killed him

If he hadn't drugged me

Hope you experienced what I did But the alternative was melting

All due to being a good kid

I'll never ask where

Your smile is again

But I got a friend

That could use your help

Your hope that I felt

Harness it and grow your wealth

Watch your health

Know that it can't happen again and There's worse places to end up

Than the shelf

I'd fold if the same hand was dealt

I hope to offer whatever you need

To stand tall and do as I felt

I wouldn't change shit

About my stealth

Don't let parent neglect control you Like I did

Get over it

It hurts and it will

They still around and at-least

They don't yell like they used to

We're just supposed to know now

And we still don't have a clue

So I hope when it comes time

You choose a better question to ask When the gods

Are behind your back

Hand on shoulder

Waiting to guide you

She can't be helped

And she does get better with time

Make your climb

And keep that head up

I know why we stayed reserved

Do it more

Bore yourself to death

And find your core without empathy

Continue to do it though

Just work on being empty

We still would have had her in our 20's and probably life

We fucked up and

Not much can make it right

Just do better

Honestly I wouldn't see an issue

If you got this letter

Instead I just hope it helps next

Perplexed how I could be loved and Shoved to the bottom

At any convenience

Only brought up again when needed

I guess I did it myself to be

Treated this way

A living ghost making it

Through each day

Possessing the computer because

I died without saying

What I have to say