If I Were a Bell (Horns Out)

Ask me how do I feel,

Now that we're cosy and clinging,

Well sir, all I can say is

If I were a bell I'd be ringing!

From the moment we kissed goodnight,

That's the way I just gotta behave,

And if I were a lamp I'd light,

Or if I were a banner I'd wave!

Ask me how do I feel,

Little me with my quiet upbringing,

Well sir, all I can say is

If I were a gate I'd be swinging!

And if I were a watch,

I'd start popping my spring,

Oh, and if I were a bell

I'd go "Ding dong ding dong ding!".

Ask me how do I feel

From this chemistry lesson I'm learning,

Well sir, all I can say is

If I were a bridge I'd be burning!

Well, I knew my moral would crack

From the wonderful way you looked,

Boy, if I were a duck I'd quack,

Or if I were a goose I'd be cooked!

Ask me how do I feel

Now that we're fondly caressing,

And if I were a salad,

I know I'd be splashing my dressing!

Or if I were a season,

I'd surely be Spring,

Yes, and if I were a bell,

Say, if I were a bell,

If I were a bell

I'd go "Ding dong ding dong ding!".