Don't Sit on My Jimmy Shands

When the party hit full swing

I saw you come reeling in

You had that six-pack in a stranglehold

Now you stagger, now you sway

Why don't you fall the other way?

'Cause I've got something here worth more than gold

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

They don't mend with sticky tape and glue

Please, don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

That's my very best advice to you

Darling, though you're twice my size

I don't mean to patronise

Honey, let me lead you by the hand

Find a lap or find a chair

You can park it anywhere

Just don't press those cheeks against my man

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

They don't mend with sticky tape and glue

Please, don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

That's my very best advice to you

Call me precious, I don't mind

'78S are hard to find

You just can't get the shellac since the war

This one's the Beltona brand

Finest label in the land

They don't make them like that anymore

No shindig is half-complete

Without that famous polka beat

That's why they invite me, I suppose

Waltzies, thrashbies, hates and reels

Now you know how good it feels

Grandpa's handle, babe, away she goes

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

They don't mend with sticky tape and glue

Please, don't sit on my jimmyshans

Don't sit on my jimmyshans

That's my very best advice to you

That's my very best advice to you