The One-Eyed Romeo

Well, you rode in from the badlands with the gravel in your gut

You been sleepin' in the saddle, keepin' both your eyelids shut

Now you're leanin' on the bar-rail, smellin' desperate, smellin' wild

Lookin' for a little mercy in a woman's warm smile

But the pickin's here are slim, son, the crop is barely grown

And the lady in the corner looks like somethin' carved from stone

She ain't the Rose of Texas, she ain't the Southern Belle

But when you're lonely and you're thirsty... even water tastes like Zinfandel

Now listen, cowboy, I know the trail was long, So long

So let me teach you how to fix ex--actly what is wrong

If you catch yourself a-lovin' on a not-so-pretty gal

Don't you worry 'bout the optics, listen to your pal! Yes listen to your pal

Take a breath, grab her hand, and let out a sigh

Then go ahead and simply close one eye

Yeah, squint it tight and lock it down, it's a simple kind of math

It cuts the ugly down by fifty per--cent in a single path

It's the best advice for lovin' that a drifter ever had: Ever had

When you close one eye, son, it's only half as bad

Now, magazines fill up your head with lies 'bout perfect skin

But a supermodel ain't gonna in--vite a drifter in

Beauty is a vapor, boys, it fades like a morning mist

But a woman with a crooked smile still knows how to kiss

She's got calloused hands and kindness, she's got whiskey in her veins

She'll keep you warm and dry when the roof begins to rain

So for--get the exterior, don't act like you're a Saint

Even a beat-up pickup truck runs good beneath the paint

So if you catch yourself a-lovin' on a not-so-pretty gal

Don't you worry 'bout the optics, listen to your pal! Yes listen to your pal

Take a breath, grab her hand, and let out a sigh

Then go ahead and simply close one eye

Yeah, squint it tight and lock it down, it's a simple kind of math

It cuts the ugly down by fifty per--cent in a single path

It's the best advice for lovin' that a drifter ever had: Ever had

When you close one eye, son, it's only half as bad

Because everybody in this world...deserves a little grace..Ooh

We ain't judgin' hearts by the structure of the face

Everyone deserves good lovin', to feel a heart that beats

Whether you're in a feather bed or tangled in the sheets

So be a man, step up to the plate, and treat that lady right

Just manage your perspective Son when you turn out the light

Yeah, it's only half as bad, son! Half as bad

It's a geometric fact

Close one eye

You're a One-Eyed Ro--meo

Close one eye

Yeah, it's only half as bad

And hey... if she's really rough

Close the other one, too

Now you're flyin' on faith