13 Reasons Why

Who gon' miss me when I die?

Suicide on my mind, it's 13 reasons why

Who gon' miss me when I'm gone?

Huh? Hannah Baker, they'll play my shit when I'm gone

Who gon' miss me when I die?

Suicide on my mind, it's 13 reasons why

Who gon' miss me when I'm gone?

Yeah

I miss the days when I used to smoke without trippin'

I miss the days when I used to sleep without thinkin'

The good ol' days when I used to talk and you'd listen

The nights where I could have a good time without drinkin'

'Cause tryna save the world is like a suicide mission

I used to think gettin' money would feel a lot different

The pressure's still around, it's just easier now to deal with

'Cause once you gettin' money, it's easier to conceal it

Yeah, there is not a truth that time won't reveal

At 10 years old, I thought of shootin' myself

When Mom and Dad's fights was gettin' more physical

The bruises I wore to school was gettin' more visible

I hate that growin' up, I hated my dad

I couldn't even watch cartoons without makin' him mad

I wish we had more time to find the time that we lacked

I wish I got less punches and more pats on the back

I wish we could've kicked it like friends

Instead of breakin' in your room, stealin' guns to feel like the man

I tried to join the Bloods so they could come for you

And D told me, "Nah, youngin', this shit is not for you"

Now that I'm older, I can see it through

I'm your son, I got your demons too

And Dad, I know you tried to make it right

But Dad, a lot of shit you put me through scarred me for life

Like, like you're the reason that I'm still timid

Like you're the reason that hot temper is still in him

Domestic violence, cheatin', and fuckin' other women

13 Years later, my mama's still with him

That's a touchy subject, let me get up off it

I started off with a lot of friends, wonder where they all went

Niggas is blamin' me for their failures now

Like it's my fault they on their grandma couch

When all I tried to do was show you out

Before you turned your back, that's

The shit you should've thought about

I took niggas on tour with me

They ain't starved with me, they ain't sleep on the floor with me

I ain't have room, came back and brought more with me

Once I started gettin' more, they just more envy

One by one, they started switchin' up

And sayin' how they never needed love

They tell they side of the story

I stay silent 'cause that says enough

My depression goes further back than I could recall

I changed your life and you don't pick the phone up when I call

All those flights on my credit card, yeah, I took a loss

I don't recall when they burned the bridge and they got across

Ain't no love in a jealous crew

I never expected that shit from you

After all the shit that we been through

How you runnin' with niggas that wanna see my mama lose?

How you sellin' inside stories to outsiders?

Dark times, my inner light shines brighter

Suicide on my mind, I'm really goin' under

Backstabbed by the niggas that I consider brothers

Hold up, this girl is not my baby's mother

More or less like a friend of his, I've fallen for her

Condoms in my pocket, thoughts full of guilt

I knew this shit would end bad, but I did it still

Selfish of me, I'm so fuckin' selfish

I'm a piece of shit, I can't fuckin' help it

Don't feel bad, I'm fucked up

I've seen the two women I love exchange awkward hugs

And only one knew about the other one

I keep it real with bitches and lie to the one I love

And I'm the one that's always preachin' karma

Jenna revealed that I'm havin' a daughter

I wish I could stay to be involved

But there's just too much dirt on my hands to wash it off

I wanna say, "Fuck it, I'm tourin', LeToya Luckett"

Chasin' after fame, but I hide my soul in public

My introvert just makes shit worse

I can't tell you how I feel and that's what makes shit worse

I done tried a couple drugs, but ain't shit work

But alcohol's the poison I prefer

I'm sorry, Natalie, Wendy, Rose, and Winnie too

Marcy, Brenda, Gypsy, and Tina too

Caroline, if you're listenin', this from me to you

I'm sorry you were the vessel I formed my demons through

I used to tell you I love you, you wouldn't hear

And then we broke up and you went deaf and wasn't near

Karma's real if the message ain't clear

I know that way too well, that's my only fear

Damn, how did I end up here?

Pistol on my lap, I know the end is near

I'm sorry, Mama, I'm just cleanin' out my closet

I'm sorry that I stole jewelry out your closet

And then I went and pawned it

And went and bought a gun to make profits

When I was 15, I pinned my cousin out

What the fuck was I thinkin' 'bout?

Young nigga had a broken soul

Or maybe I just grew up in a broken home

It was hard to sleep with all the fuss and fights

So I would stay up and I would dream at night

I used to tell my little sister it would be aight

I wish I was right

Now we've grown apart and I don't call enough

My mama's on the phone beggin' us to keep in touch

That's my little sister, heard she's drinkin' too much

My cousin said her depression is gettin' worrisome

My mama's like, "Hurry, son"

This is 13 reasons, I gave you 31

All this shit on my mind, that's why I gotta jump

This shit eats me alive, that's why I gotta jump