You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

You're the reason I'm driving around on recapped tyres

And you're the reason I'm hanging out clothes outside on wires

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Ah, but looks ain't everything

And money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

Yeah, and you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop

And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Ah, but looks ain't everything

Oh, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have everything we need

'Cause when we get ahead it's got another mouth to feed

And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone

Oh, that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling

Ah, but looks ain't everything

Oh, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

Good God those kids are ugly, they look just like you

What about the bald one?

I don't even think he's mine

I told you he could be yours. Probably. Top three. Possibly