Amend

I've thought about your death about a dozen times

Wondering if I'd feel grief or relief - would I cry at all?

Or would shock consume me?

Electrocute me until I go numb?

Or would time stand still soul fulfilled

Would I lose my will to carry on?

If I awake and you've left before the dawn

Would I realize I loved you more than I let on?

Did you think of me before you met your end?

I pray there wasn't much left to amend

I know it's selfish but it's safe to say I'm scared

That you'd leave without knowing how much I truly cared

I'm sorry for the pain. I'm sorry I was weak

I'm so I'm so fucking stubborn and we didn't speak

I won't pretend I'm proud of a bitter end