Under the Label

We should have had a lovely time

A pleasant evening shared with friends

Around the table gathered for a meal

We set the places all so nicely

Matching linens, place cards too

I was so looking forward to the night

But no! Instead we're here in this cave

We planned a dinner party

Now we're a party of adventurers

I was prepared to face a mountain of dishes

But now we're facing certain doom

And as I gaze into the gaping maw of death I ask

Whatever possessed me to look under the label

On the can of condensed milk

The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell

And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name

We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate

By now our guests had all arrived

And in the kitchen did converge

Wine was set to breathing fore our meal

The food was all prepared

Only one thing left to go

When the time rang I beamed "Ah, the desert"

But no! I've never been so wrong

How did my dinner party

Become a party of adventurers

I was prepared to seek out the finest vintage

Now I seek some magic sword

And as I'm gazing on the teeth that could be swords I ask

Whatever possessed me to look under the label

On the sweetened condensed milk

The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell

And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name

We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate

They all look to me like I'm some chosen one

To lead us through this maze, return us to our homes

With only oven mitts, craft beer apron for armour

I fear that we are destined not to have but to be dinner

I wish I'd read less novels and spent more time at the gym

And as I'm slipping down the gullet to my doom I ask

Whatever possessed me to look under the label

On the sweetened condensed milk

The recipe it promised, turned out to be a spell

And the magic baking powder must have lived up to it's name

We didn't open up the oven, we opened up a gate