turbulence

I might say it's easier

My pace looks more placid

He's got your wild eyes

But they don't get me quite as high

I tell myself I'm doing just fine

On autopilot, like prayers at night

But I'd trade my soul for just one day off from my mind

'Cause I miss you every time I come back home and you're not there

I miss you every time I'm out with him and I see your face

And now he's down the hall

While I cry for you on the bathroom floor

I was light above

But it's turbulence now

The prettiest streets in town have gathered my thickest tears

And only the lampposts know I'm nobly lying

I force my mind

'Cause it's nice to be held, yeah

The lights go off, his arms are warm

But when the night gives way to the day

It's like I stabbed my own back

His words are foreign, I'm in exile

My heart screams "catch that return flight"

Fuck what it's supposed to be

I'm out of mind if you're out of reach yeah

'Cause I miss you every time I come back home and you're not there

I miss you every time he kisses me and I see your face

And now it's 3 am

And I'm still awake in case you'd call

You're all I want, and it has

consequences

I poured out my stupid life

To a stranger in some bar

Didn't think I could ever feel this much

I'm disgusted with myself

I am slipping through my hands

Was it worth it?

Was it worth this goddamn mess?

Falling out of the sky

No matter how hard I try

I know I'd go back to you

I'd go back to you

'Cause I miss you every time I come back home and you're not there

I miss you every time I close my eyes and I see your face

And you don't even know

No need to say another word

It's just the worst turbulence