9 Letters

A pillow to my head

I time the shortening of my breath

Step back, watch you contaminate

The light that I defibrillate

Every time I try goodbye

I write the world a letter

I've forgotten how to forget

But I'm too weak to remember

Words, fears, lies

I'll go insane a few more times

I'm losing myself in the tides

My interior's becoming dire

Someone count my steps

I fall away from my own trek

In apathy I lose my head

So tighten your grip around my neck

Every time I try goodbye

I write the world a letter

I've forgotten how to forget

But I'm too weak to remember

A pillow to my head

I'll focus on my ceiling instead

Think things are after me, here on my bed

The blacks and greys turn to shades of red

It hurt your eyes to look at the colours

But you're safer out here than under the covers

To squint is to give it its blurry disguise

But it might be that little bit easier on your eyes

With your hand to your face and your face to the sky

You're blinded from what is it that you hold most high

But without the pain of vision, there's a chance you'll find

The strength you need to get through this night

Every time I try goodbye

I write the world a letter

I've forgotten how to forget

But I can't bear to remember

A pillow to my head

Rethinking everything I've ever said

I need your help to sanitise

The world that lives behind my eyes

I wrote of tries to say goodbye

And now I have nine letters

But I'm burning every one of them

Please, don't make me remember