Withdrawals

I dont feel how you felt when you looked at me

As a child to see things shouldnt see

For the fact of the matter, nobody needs

Actually after the passing i couldnt grieve

Every time that youd smile i couldnt sleep

I knew what you were hiding up underneath

And if its a ride or die with us, somehow we split up in the distance and im wondering what it means

I was only a baby and heard the violence

25 years later, disturbed by silence

When i learned about prison, and learned about pistols, a decade before i had a drivers license

Thank god to my mom when she heard the sirens

Thank god that were all still alive and i could tell you that i miss you but im at the point youre at peace in the way that i am

I cant keep going through withdrawals

You understand it isnt all my fault

I promised you that i would change

I heard you tell me the same

You let the feeling fade away

I thought tomorrow mightve gave us a new day

You promised me that you would change but you dont and it wont till were both in the grave

And you felt the same

And you felt the same

Yeah i wish that i didnt think like this

Every time that i close my eyelids

All i see is that note you wrote

When you said goodbye and i just hear violence

Like why in the fuck was i not enough?

You traded it all for another drug

I needed my mom, you needed relief

And i had to call the police

Looking at the kid who didnt really know any other way to deal with the feelings ahead

Always so mad at myself and the way i keep making my present a part of the past

I hated you for the way that you threw us away and you said you would change

But then i got hooked on them same pills and now im saying

I cant keep going through withdrawals

You understand it isnt all my fault

I promised you that i would change

I heard you tell me the same

You let the feeling fade away

I thought tomorrow mightve gave us a new day

You promised me that you would change but you dont and it wont till were both in the grave

And you felt the same

And you felt the same

If time heals all

Why do i still bleed

You watched me fall

But i cant keep

I cant keep going through withdrawals

You understand it isnt all my fault

I promised you that i would change

I heard you tell me the same

You let the feeling fade away

I thought tomorrow mightve gave us a new day

You promised me that you would change but you dont and it wont till were both in the grave

And you felt the same

And you felt the same