That Wuttin' A Marlboro

Some weirdos moved in across the street

And they was keeping my wife awake

Twelve hours of the Goo Goo Dolls was about all she could take

So I went over there, bummed a cigarette

And told them break it up pretty soon

Some Aborigines midgets found me two days later

On the dark side of the moon

Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro

Was that the new Prince Albert in the left-handed can?

Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro

But this stuff's enough to make Janet Reno look like the Marlboro Man

It kinda looked like a Lucky or a short Pall Mall

Tastes like horse manure, but menthol

If it legally reaches the public's lips

There's gonna be a shortage of tater chips

We can finally quit hating Philip Morris's guts

'Cause that stuff kicks a cigarette's butt

My brain said it's something it had never seen

But it beats the tar out of nicotine

Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro

But it's the Surgeon General's nephew's favorite brand

Uh oh! That wasn't a Marlboro

But two packs of that'll have the

Backstreet Boys sounding like a reggae band

It'll have them fellers at the DEA coughing on the witness stand