If you only knew
The shit that I had to go through
In order for me to be here face to face with you
I don't really think you knew
You know
So let me help you understand
Why I became the man
Broken man with a gun in hand
And I keep it moving
Motherfuckers don't be knowing
That I grew up living the life of crime
Up and down for what is mine
And I see me left behind
Shit, I'm running outta time
That's the story of my life
Shit, and despite the fact
You always see me on the grind
But I ain't gonna lie
The shit got me broken hearted
Feeling retarded
But let me tell you how it started
It started with a little boy
And he had dreams
Being raised by a mother
And the father is nowhere to be found
So you see me with a frown
Growing up as a teen
Rocks in my pocket
And a pistol in my hand
Yes, I'm serving them fiends
Give a fuck what they think
Ain't nobody ever bothered to help
But they were very quick to judge
And condemn me to hell
So you better believe
That I do what I must
And if a motherfucker gets in the way
Shit, it's ashes to ashes and dust to dust
You best believe I'm gonna bust
As I collect what I lust
I used to think of myself
As a diamond in the rough
But as time progressed
I became nothing but a bum
Drowning in my sorrows with a bottle of rum
And it's 151
Flirting with death
Tongue kissing on my gun
In other words
I didn't give a fuck
Tell me now
What future did I have
What future did I see
Death at a young age
Or life in the penitentiary
And I could never agree
That that would be the life for me
So what can I do
In order to achieve
'Cause society deceives
And there's demons after me
From a life that lived as a teen
I used to pray every night
But believing in a god is a fight in itself
And it's a fight with mental health
And I can't help but to believe
That we're living in hell
'Cause it's a cycle and it repeats
Do you blame me if I believe
When all I see is my family tree
Suffering from a disease
And it's called poverty
And I'm the only one that seems
To question this scheme
So now the real question is
What the fuck will I do
'Cause it's depended on me
If I don't figure out a way
Then it's a possibility
That my whole family tree
Will remain in poverty
And now the shit is real tricky 'cause here comes a little girl
And she calls me dad
My responsibility
Is to help my little seed
To grow up and to believe
There's a better life to lead
Than the one that was for me
Let me help you find and seek
Your potential abilities
Just in case I never make it
You will be the one to see
A better way and you'll defeat
The curse that was my family
'Cause it seems that the curse runs deep
And I did my very best to avoid the repeat
But despite all of my talents
I always end up on my knees
And I don't know who to blame
Do I blame myself
Or do I get superstitious
And start blaming god in heaven
Or the devil in hell
Let me tell you something though
I can't blame any god, or any fucking supernatural being
When it's all said and done
Life is what you make it
So whatever happens it is all on me
That's reality