You Can't Fade Me/JD's Gaffilin'

Now the taste of alcohol is filling up my bladder

What's the date and time it don't matter

Had a pocket full of phone numbers I was trying to sort

To make a long story short

Ran into this girl named Carla

Knew her from the back seat of my homie's Impala

She said what's up yeah what's the deal

Check the hairdo of course it ain't real

Then I looked down she was fat in the front

I asked how long, well about seven months

Oh how time flies when you're having fun

She said yeah but the damage is done

Where you been, on a little vacation

Oh by the way congratulations

Who's the lucky man? I don't have a clue

Then she said the lucky man is you

I dropped my brew

And everything looked fuzzy

Not a baby by you the neighborhood hussy

She said yeah remember that date

I thought back and tried to calculate

Then I said damn are you sure it's mine

Cause I know you been tossed plenty of times

She said that day no I wasn't whoring

Your ass is mine that's when the sweat started pouring

Cause all I saw was Ice Cube in court

Paying a gang on child support

Then I thought deep about giving up the money

What I need to do is kick the bitch in the tummy

Naw cause then I'd really get faded

That's murder one cause it was premeditated

So what I'm a do

I don't have a clue

How many months left damn only two

I'm gettin' faded

No cigar, G

Ay yo homey man I'm getting faded

It's crazy cause before I could sleep with her

I had to duck and dodge and try to creep with her

See the booty and the front was all in place

But the girl had the pitbull face

So we ran jumped drove swam crawled hid

Oh lord god forbid

My homies see me at the motel

Cause those fools would love to just go tell

Everybody in the hood that knows your rep

So jump in the back seat and quiet is kept

And hold your big fat butt steady

Cause yo hoe I got the paper bag ready

She started moaning and gobbling like a turkey

I knocked the boots from here to Albuquerque

I dropped her off man and I'm knowing

That I'm a hate myself in the morning

I got drunk to help me forget

Yo another day another hit shit

I'm gettin' faded

Ay yo you know what time it is

Nine months later she's ready to drop the load

And everybody in the hood already knows

It's supposed to be mine so they laughing at me

You know Ice Cube can't be having that G

I'm thinking to myself why did I bang her

Now I'm in the closet looking for the hanger

JD and Jinx and T-Bone won't let up they won't shut up

I'm gettin' fed up bitch

Cause I know you're tryin' to break me

But if I find out your tryin' to fake me

I'm a buff that duff for a hoot

Beat ya down and leave a crown or two

That night she went into labor

And the shit is getting kinda major

The baby came out damn it was a lifesaver

Looking like my next-door neighbor

She said it was mine that was her best guess

But let's check the results of the blood test

I started smiling yeah cause it read negative

Damn why did I let her live

After that I should've got the gat

And bust and rushed and illed and peeled the cap

But no I just told the hoe who laid me

Excuse me bitch it's a switch

You can't fade me

Naw baby not this way

Yo you ain't playing Ice Cube out like no booger

I don't fall for the okey-doke

And before I fall for the okey-doke

I let the pistol smoke

Now sing it

Yeah baby you can't fade me

Naw unfadable baby