Where the Hell Have You Been

You know my inside pockets got my outside twin

So badly indisposed, I think I'll dust my bin

And all the while you're making eyes at me

You could be doing something useful, like climbing up a tree

Who knows there may be something lurking, like a koala bear

All the way from down under, but don't ask me where

And on the subject of Australia

And you know some wives

Don't mind when their husbands get home at night?

Know what I mean?

Every time I get home late

My wife says, "Where the hell have you been"

Oh Helen, do be careful lying in the sun

Don't mind what you take off

Long as you've something on

And all the while

You give the neighbors a thrill

You could be doing something useful

Like climbing up a hill

Okay, so hills do not agree with you

Then try one that's flat

Surely there's no better way

That's better than that

And on the subject of alternatives

Did you know some guys

Don't mind when their girlfriends

Get home at night?

Oh, what a dream

If I'm just a minute late

My wife says, "Where the hell have you been"

And all the while you're making eyes, I see

You could be doing something useful

Like climbing over me

Now then there's nothing to be frightened of

I won't let you fall

Dare I say it, I just hope that you'll be enthralled

And on the subject of enthrallment

Do you know some wives

Don't mind when their husbands

Come home at night?

Know what I mean?

Every time I get home late

Mine says, "Where the hell have you been"