Story, Not the Weather

I left my phone face down like a prayer If you call, I don't know who I'll be

Streetlight leaks through cheap lines Paints my arms in thin gold

Every shadow in this room wears the shape used to hold

I talk to the ceiling like it's listening for a crack in my tone

But it just sends back silence in a pitch I can't outgrow

I tried on laughter at a bar like a jacket off the rack

It fit for half a second then it tightened in the bag

Now I'm walking home in slow motion past our old doorways

And my keys feel like evidence of all my wrong ways

All my wrong ways

Cause I keep editing my life like a photo for a feed

Smoothing out the parts that look too much like me

But when the screen goes dark, I see what's underneath

A face that doesn't recognize the grief

Don't, don't, don't

You don't miss me

You miss the version you remember

The one who never shook, never splintered

Now I'm midnight in a mirror

Out of focus, out of temper

You don't love me

You love the story, not the weather

The way my damage look like glitter

I'm still here

But I'm not him

I'm not the version you remember

Low octave, under, still here

High harmony, on, remember

Not him, not him, yeah

I found your sweatshirt in the back of my closet like a dare

Still carrying your perfume and it seems like it's unfair

I put it on and stood so still, I almost disappeared

Like maybe if I'm quiet enough, you'll reappear

My friends say you'll be fine

But they mean please don't make it real

So I smile with my mouth while my hands forget to feel

I've been learning how to be someone you never had to save

But every new beginning digs a tunnel through the grave

I'm trying through the grave

I keep rewriting what I said the night you turned away

Like different words could make you stay

But I replay the moment and it's always the same

You're looking past me like you forgot my name

Forgot my, you don't miss me

You miss the version you remember

The one who never shook, never split

Now I'm midnight in a mirror

Out of focus, out of temper

You don't love me, you love the story

Not the weather, the way my damage looked like glitter

I'm still here, but I'm not him

I'm not the version you remember

And I can't go back to someone I don't know

Velvet static in my chest, your signal left

Left me a mess, ain't my name, it doesn't land

I'm not who you think I am

I kept a seat for you in every room inside my head

Now it's a hollow little theater playing scenes you never said

I practiced being okay so long it started sounding true

Till I caught myself apologizing to the ghost of you

And I hate that I still check the door

Like you're a habit I can't break

Hate that I still measure love by how much I can take

If I'm honest, I'm terrified

You'd come back and I'd freeze

Cause I don't know if you'd want me

But just a memory replaced

Dab on me, bliss me, you'll miss the version you remember

The one who never shook, never splintered

Now I'm midnight in a mirror, out of focus, out of temper

You don't love me, you love the story

Not the weather, the way my damage looked like glitter

I'm still here, but I'm not him

I'm not the version you remember

I'm still here, I'm still here

Say it again, don't call me that

I tried, yeah, I tried, yeah

If you ever miss me, be specific

Goodbye

Mmm, goodbye