Before the Fall

You Ask Where I Go When I Shut Down Like This

The Truth Is

I Don't Even Know

It's Just Instinct

A Habit Carved From Crisis

Every Kindness Feels Like Pressure

A Kindness I Don't Trust

So I Fade

Not To Hurt You

But Before Love Turns To Rust

I Trace Your Name A Thousand Times But Never Hit Send

Not Because I Don't Miss You

But Because I Can't Pretend

That I Don't Know How To Be Wanted

Without Waiting For It To End

So I Abandon It All

Before I'm The One Condemned

Every Time I Love

I Leave Before The Fall

Please Don't Hate Me

Hate Those Who Came Before

I Never Meant To Hurt You

Never Meant To Close That Door

I Swear I Wanted More

But I've Been Bracing For The War

Every Time I Love

I Leave Before The Fall

Please Don't Hate Me

Hate Those Who Came Before

So Please Don't Read My Silence As A Lack Of Care

I'm Screaming In A Vacuum Hoping You're Still There

I Promise I Remember Every Word You Said

I Just Don't Know How To Feel Without Drowning In Dread

So If I Don't Reply

Or If I Fold Again And Fall

Know It's Not Your Fault

It's Me Building Another Wall

But If You Leave The Light On

And If The Door's Still Near

I Hope My Guilt Can Find Its Way Home

This Isn't Apathy

It's Trauma Learning To Survive

I Wait Alone

Convinced I'm Better Left Deprived

It's Knowing If I Open Up

You'll See I'm Just A Mess

I Never Meant To Hurt You

I Just Self Destruct The Best

I've Taught Myself That Love's A Thing I Can't Survive

Love And Distrust Coincide And Can't Compromise

Safety Always Felt Like Something Forged Not To Be Given

I Call To The Past And Recall The Unforgiven