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The beast lives. Out of the raging storm, in the dead of night
The ravenous blood-sick creature searches for its sacrifice
Great Balinko! Great Balinko! Great Balinko! Great Balinko!
Great Balinko! Great Balinko! Great Balinko! Great Balinko!
Driven by death itself. Only the satisfaction of slaughter
Will cause it to return to the darkness from which it came
Boys and girls, it's nighty-night time
Happy to the clown has a nursery rhyme
It's about the Boogie Woogie Man
Keep your light on as long as you can
'Cause when it cuts off, so does your head
Boogie Woogie Woogie waits under your bed
With a shank, schwa, butt to the bottom
Kiddie jimmy jimmy, got 'em!
Let's meet contestant number one. He's a schizophrenic serial
Killer clown who says women love his sexy smile. Let's find out
If his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?
Contestant number one, I believe first impressions last
Forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parents'
House and have dinner with me and my family. Tell me
What you'd do to make that first impression really stick?
Let's see, mm, well I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, ha, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your mama in the eye and tell her, "Fuck you!"
Hurry up, bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd then sure whoop your ass and tell her, "Get my food ready!"
Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips
It's dinner time, we're hearing grace from your mother
I'd pull a .40 out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know, for only thirteen, she got some big tits
After that, your dad would try to talk again
And only this time I'd put the .40 to his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry fuck her 'til I nut in my underwear
What's in your mouth thanks to the Boogie Man?
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu (here comes the boogie man)
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Make way for the Boogie Man
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Now let's meet contestant number two. He's a psychopathic
Deranged crackhead freak who works at a dark carnival. He says
Women call him Stretch Nuts. Sharon, let's hear your question
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man
Who expresses himself in his own special way. Number two, if
You fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a witchy bitch, yo, fuck you!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other motherfuckers out of here
I'd go through your phone book and whack 'em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (What?)
Anyone who looked at you would have to pay
I'd be pulling fucking nuggets off all day
Grab your titties and stretch 'em down past your waist
Let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you the best I can
Get you naked and hit it like a caveman
Then we'd go to the beach and walk through the sand
I'd throw a little in your face and say, "I'm just playing"
As you spit it all out, I'd whip you back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Make way for the Boogie Man
Boogie Woogie Woogie Woogie Wu
Please don't let me fall asleep
'Cause the Boogie Man will creep
Through my window in my room
Stab me with a broken broom
Please don't let me fall asleep
'Cause the Boogie Man will creep
Through my window in my room
Stab!
Boogie Woogie Woogie!
Well, it sounds like contestant number two is just
Overflowing with sensitivity, Sharon. It's a tough
Choice so far. Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is gonna win the rights to your nether
Okay, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at
The same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and
What would your pickup line be? Whoever's the smoothest wins!
Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are
I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Ricki Lake
Fuck that! You'd be talking to me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in a crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
Tell her that she's fat
Yeah, that'll work even better
Look, fuck you! I got a strong rap, shit
You don't want contestant number two, he's mad wack
I walked into a barn and there he was
Standing up by the bucket, trying to fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly-ass llama
Damn, dog!
How you gonna diss your mama?
Ha ha ha ha ha!