Bob Rules

Twelve o'clock checkout we've got an entire hour

Where is the remote no time for the manual power

I put that name tag over my heart

On the shirt that says "Bob Rules"

I stood in line for days

With all the other fools

And then a voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy

Called my name and said

"Come on down, you're the next contestant"

Oh my God, I was hyperventilating

I hope I do not wake up from this dream

Which is what it was

Janice just slinked on wearing a diamond dog collar

Still in complete shock I muttered the words "one dollar"

But everyone else overbid

And their eyes turned to me with a rage

For my dogs will be draped in diamonds

And I get to go on stage

I picked up ol' Bob and I hugged him just like a bear

He said, "Put me down son and feast your eyes over there"

The sliding doors were ajar

I was as happy as I could get

For it was a brand new car

A Chevrolet Chevette

All because the voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy

Called my name and said

"Come on down, you're the next contestant"

Oh my God, I was hyperventilating

I hope I do not wake up from this dream

Which is what it was

The showcase showdown was set for quarter to noon

My spin did not make it all the way around, I got booed

So I pulled down as hard as I could

Just like they all knew that I would

I was happy to be alive

When it landed on ninety five

The next thing I knew I was standing next to a marine

Who did not like his showcase and passed it on over to me

Crunching the numbers I tried to remain calm

How much is an all expenses paid trip to Guam?

Before I could answer a banging came to my door

The housekeeper said, "You must leave now or pay more, you dog!"

I guess that I fell back asleep

And slept right through that show

But the next time I'm in L.A