Letras
Epic Rap Battles of History
Ash Ketchum versus Charles Darwin
Begin!
Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight
But this should be fun, I've yet to catch the ghost type
Got the highest speed stat, drop raps lightnin' fast
Open my pockets and go Charizard on your ass
'Cause I'm Ash, and that's A-to-the-"shush"
I don't care how many beetles and butterflies you squoosh
Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties
Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces
You got candy raps, Reese's pieces
In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species
When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu (Pika)
But when I need a weak verse, "I choose you!"
Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth
Where actual minds do groundbreaking work
If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection
You're so ineffective, you couldn't even turn 11
What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough
It's kids stuff, you're soft like a Jigglypuff
You got no game, boy, so you'll get the broom quick
The real Ash packs a much bigger boomstick
I'm a masterful naturalist
What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list
My research reversed the first words of the Church
You measure your worth by the sales of your merch
Yo, um, real quick
This dude spent eight years studyin' barnacle dick
Kick it
You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please
You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas
You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea
Set sail and Galápa-go suck on these
Look, Mighty Morphin Michael Vick
Your animated slave fights make me sick
When I battle a foe from so simple a beginnin'
I'm not Charles Sheen, but I am Dar-winning
Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel
'Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool
You lost three children while they were still small
TB and scarlet fever, gotta catch 'em all!