Letras
It was my 40th Birthday and my wife got me a gift
Dinner at my favorite steak spot, oh we got there swift
We sat down, placed our order, and then heard a mighty cry
From some little evil bastard with the devil in his eyes
Not more than 10 years old, he jumped from table to table
Throwin' forks and knives and spillin' drinks like demons fabled
I looked over to his parents but they just tried to hide
And in that split second I knew I couldn't let it ride
It wasn't my proudest moment
But that little shit was wild
And I knew from that restaurant
My ass would be exiled
And I fought a child (he fought a child)
Now I hear you sayin' Johnny, how could it be fair
For a grown man to throw hands with a kid?
Oh the blame is square
But I guarantee on this topic that you don't know shit
Because that little bastard was out to kill and fuckin' quick
First he threw a knife and nearly hit a preacher's daughter
And I took advantage and into his eyes I threw some water
But he shook it off and with a shiny silver salad fork
Pierced my shoulder like it had been smoked and made of pork
It wasn't my proudest moment
Oh I 'bout nearly cried
And I grabbed that fucker by the legs
And whipped him side to side
Yeah I fought a child (he fought a child)
I took a breath and let go because I thought I had gottem
But that spawn of satan shot right up cause he was playin' possum
He grabbed the wooden board that they'd given us for bread
And hit me in the nuts so hard I wished that I was dead
A hush fell over the dining room and I heard him pant
He laughed as I doubled over, and knew that I was spent
But two can play at that game and despite the pain and dread
I got him by the shirt and lifted him over my head
It wasn't my proudest moment
I loved to watch him glide
And into the salad bar
That little bastard would collide
Yeah I fought a child (he fought a child)
Then from out of the restrooms came the kid's grandma