It Didn’t Turn Out This Way

I prayed for healing

It didn't come

At least not the way I hoped

I said I trusted You

With open hands

But I didn't know this road

I watched the years

Slip through my fingers

Trying to stay brave

But faith feels heavier at night

When nothing gets explained

I still believe

I'm just exausted

I pictured endings

That never came

I planned a different life

I thought obedience would mean

I'd understand the why

I don't regret

Still following You

I just don't know this pain

And I don't know how long

I'm supposed to stay this way

I still believe

I need your strength

Then I read

You were a man of sorrows

You knew this kind of loss

You wept with friends

You felt abandoned

You carried every cross

You don't explain the suffering

You step inside of it and stay

It didn't turn out this way

And I don't know what to say

Except I'm still here

Still calling Your name

I won't pretend

I'm standing strong

But I haven't walked away

I'm still here

I'm still Yours

I'm always Yours