Still Here

The kids are taller than I remember them being

I was in the room but I wasn't quite seeing

Too busy building the thing that would prove

That I was worth the space I was taking up

My wife said something at dinner last week

Said you look right through me when I try to speak

And I wanted to argue but God she was right -

I've been somewhere else every night

When did the years learn to run like that?

When did I stop looking up?

When did living become a plan

And the plan become enough?

I am still here, I am still here

It's not too late, I'm still here

The table is set and the people are real

And I can still learn how to feel

I wasted so much trying to arrive -

But I am standing in my own life

Still here, I am still here

Come back, come back, come back

Sunday morning my daughter made eggs

Told some story about something her friend said

And I put down the phone and I looked in her eyes

And she stopped mid-sentence, said Dad, you alright?

And I said yeah I'm just - I just want to hear it

And something moved in the room, I could feel it

Like years of distance collapsing at once -

This is everything, this was always enough

Not the title

Not the salary

Not the house upon the hill

Not the version of yourself

That you performed against your will

Just this table

Just this morning

Just these people, just this breath -

You don't have to earn the right to rest

I am still here, I am still here

Waking up in my own life

The table is set and the people are real

And I'm done performing being fine

All those years I spent trying to arrive -

I was already home, I was already home

Still here, still here

I am finally here