(Ooooh eeeeee ooooh eeeeee oooh)
It's the best day of my life (the best day of his life)
She didn't have to think twice (maybe once but not twice)
Betty's ready to go steady
She said get your speedo, Freddy
We're goin' to the beach
But now I'd rather chug some bleach cause
I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin' swim)
No I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin' swim)
But if I don't jump into the water Betty will choose Jim
When they see me standing on the beach alone
They'll know that I'm a bitch
But I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin' swim)
Oh I'm gonna die (he's gonna die)
I'm gonna die (not be alive)
It's either fry on land alone
Or drown in front of everyone
Cause I can't fuckin' swim
(Ooooh eeeeee ooooh eeeeee oooh)
It's the worst day of my life (the worst day of his life)
She's in a string bikini, that's nice (she looks so nice)
Betty's hotter in the water
She dove in though I tried to stall her
There's no stoppin' this hottie
I hope the cops can recover my body cause
I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin' swim)
No I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin swim)
Maybe I can stay out of the water if I tell her I choose Jim
I think I'll delay the plunge a minute more
And write my will into the shore
Cause I can't fuckin' swim (he can't fuckin' swim)
Oh I'm gonna die (he's gonna die)
I'm gonna die (not be alive)
It's either fry on land alone
Or drown in front of everyone
Cause I can't fuckin' swim
(Ooooh eeeeee ooooh eeeeee oooh)