Spiritus

When did we get married?

You were there

I was surrounded by your family

Balancing the chapters of our future

Except I forgot how you proposed

I thought it was the wrong day

Our friends and family were happy anyway

And I was caught between a dream and reality—

It wasn't really you I married

He was there, velvet coat soft as snow

Someone whispered to him

"She's getting married,"

And I was the only one

Who didn't know who

Then I saw your mother

She handed me a stack of letters

Yellowed at the edges

Each one spilling secrets

Of your family's indiscretions

I didn't really know who you were

But we were bound to be married

By the next turn of the moon

And in that moment, I wondered

Who are you?

Except I knew he wasn't the one

No one could find him in the church hall

And I saw you, standing there

Asking myself who you're going to marry

But I already knew

She was in a hallway

White dress billowing like a cloud, a gathering of friends

I'd seen her before—

The bride in your dreams

I woke up in denial

Having seen your future again

They visit me from the future

Helping me prepare for the day

When you wouldn't be waiting down the aisle

It's like my spirit already knew

I saw her dressed in white

So beautiful for you

He turned away from the crowd

And in that instant, I knew—

I wasn't going to marry

Someone I barely knew

But maybe I would

Maybe if you actually asked

Maybe if you hadn't run away

Like a time traveler haunting my dreams

I stopped the dream before we reached the altar

I'm certain you weren't there

I asked my sister if you remembered

How you proposed that day

But it was no use—

The memory slipped away

The letters, all those memories

Were clutched in my hands

Wringing tears from another way

We didn't say goodbye

And then, there you were again

Ready to walk the aisle

This time in our dreams

This time in our memories

This time in eternity