Texas and Sea Food

I like Texas 'cause Texas is the only state

Ballsy enough to have its own toast

I love Texas toast but I do not have a Texas toaster

I've got to stuff that shit in

Texas toast, man, fuckin' Idaho potato

Denver omelet shit

Colombian coffee

Have some breakfast

You know the jellyfish are dangerous

Unless they're from Smucker's

Then you want them to swim towards you

There's a jellyfish, get away

Oh, it's from Smucker's, swim towards me

And land on this English muffins

Now if you're a fish and you wanna become a fish stick

You have to have a very good posture

You can't be a slouchy fish or you will be a fish clump

I had one anchovy, that's why I didn't have two anchovies

One anchovy fucks it up for the rest

You taste like shit, I know

Now if you like anchovies, fuckin' go

Seahorses are slow, if I was in the ocean

I would not be a gambler on the horse races

'Cause you'd be there fuckin' days

You can't have seaweed as a house plant

'Cause you'd have to water it way too much

Hey Mitch, you wanna go out?

No, I have to water the seaweed

'Til when? 'Til forever

I ran some Evian water through a filter

The shit disappeared

It was so fuckin' pure

I'm an ice sculptor, last night I made a cube

You know during the summer

They say drinks are ice cold?

That would suck if a drink was ice cold

'Cause then it would be impossible to drink

'Cause it would be solid

Here's a pyramid, it's ice cold

God damn it

I guess I can lick it

I wear a necklace now

'Cause I like to know when I'm upside down

This one commercial said

Forget everything you know about slipcovers, so I did

And it was a load off my mind

Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers

But I didn't know what the fuck they were