Don't You Dare Move On

I hear folks talkin', all noble and sweet

'Bout findin' new love if their heart stops its beat

They say, "Honey, be happy, go on with your life

Find a new fella or you find a new wife"

Well, that's a real nice thought, a sweet sentiment

But in my house, that ain't how the rent's spent

If I go first, don't you dare move on

I expect you to be miserable from dusk till dawn

I want you cryin', missin' me all day long

'Cause our love's a chart-topper, a number one song

And if you meet someone, I hope they trip on a rug

You ain't gettin' over this once-in-a-lifetime love

I'm not wishin' bad luck, I'm just sayin' the truth

Your next date might have a run-in with a telephone booth

Maybe a mishap with some slippery soap

Just enough to tell 'em, "Sorry, but no"

I'll be up in Heaven, savin' your seat

Don't you be down there thinkin' some new love is sweet

If I go first, don't you dare move on

I expect you to be miserable from dusk till dawn

I want you cryin', missin' me all day long

'Cause our love's a chart-topper, a number one song

And if you meet someone, I hope they get the flu

'Cause the only happily ever after for you is with who? Me

And another thing, when you're there at my wake

And your cousin twice removed makes that classic mistake

Leanin' over the casket sayin', "Oh my, he looks good"

You tell him to get out like I knew that you would

I don't look good, I'm dead, what's wrong with you, man?

That's not how you honor the world's biggest fan of you

If I go first, don't you dare move on

I expect you to be miserable from dusk till dawn (All alone)

I want you cryin', missin' me all day long

'Cause our love's a chart-topper, a number one song

And if you meet someone, I hope their car won't start

Just wait for me, honey, and don't you break my heart