Don't Bring Lulu

"Your presence is requested,"

Wrote little Johnny White

But with this invitation

There is a stipulation

When you attend this party

You'll all be treated right

But there's a wild and woolly woman

You boys can't invite

You can bring Pearl, she's a darn nice girl

But don't bring Lulu

You can bring Rose, if they turn up nose

But don't bring Lulu

Lulu always wants to do

What we boys don't want to

When she struts her stuff around

Down the britches fallin' down

You can bring Kate or a porterhouse steak

But don't bring Lulu

Lulu gets glue and she goes cuckoo

Like a clock upon the shelf

She's the kind of smarty

Who breaks up every party

All about Lulu, don't bring Lulu

(I bring her myself)

We all went to the party

Had a real high-tone affair

And then along came Lulu

As round as any zulu

She started into Charleston

And how the boys did stare

But when she did the hula-hula

Then she got the air

You can bring Dan with the old dead pan

But don't bring Lulu

You can bring Tess with her no and yes

But don't bring Lulu

Lulu has the reddest hair

Redder here and redder there

How can we boys keep our heads?

Bulls go wild when they see red

You can bring peas and a crawler 'n' cheese

But don't bring Lulu

Give her two beers and she tears more tears

And she throws drops off the shelf

When she laughs with feelin'

The boys all hit the ceilin'

All about Lulu

Don't bring Lulu

She'll come here herself