Lifeless

I dont know what to think

And I don't know how to feel

I could cry like a scream

But then I talk with a shrill

While I shoot for the stars

They only shoot for the kill

I only hurt for the scars

And maybe stay for the thrill

You can take what you want

But imma take what I will

Some people say that they love me

But don't hope that I heal

I'm afraid to be me

Cause I don't know if it's real

And now I'm finally stuck

Without a motive or will

I climbed a mountain for what

To only fall down a hill

And now there's bruises and cuts

That can never be healed

I need some funny and laughs

Like I need money for bills

I need a bloodier mask

Cause I dont think it looks real

So maybe booze are a must

To help me swallow the pills

Because it's harder to take

Without a motive to kill

And now I drink for the sport

And cause I now possess skill

I could drink from the cork

Without a drop or a spill

I dont mean to be coarse

I need a bottle to fill

And buddy pour me a drink

Don't be a doctor like phill

And If I wanted to talk

Then I would pay you to speak

And yet I paid you a lot

But you keep looking at me

Whatever take as a tip

I wouldn't be here to see

I'm leaving everything here

In hopes to try to find peace

You see me gasping for air

It's cause I probably can't breathe

It's cause my lungs full of beer

I tried to run from the things

All the things I can't bear

They keep on dwelling on me

The game of drinking depressed

Well that's a hell of a thing

My heart is needing a coat

It's in a tank and some jeans

It isn't heavy as most

But it can still make you sink

I tried to sever its throat

It found a way to still breathe

Sometimes I think it's a boast

Whenever it skips a beat

I tried to sow it back up

But there's a rip in the seam

And i don't know if it's luck

The way it's sticking to me

I wouldn't leave it to trust

Because I lost everything

I'll tell you love is a must

But I don't know what it means

And I don't ever say bye

Cause i don't know where to go

They see the look in my eye

I try to look at my phone

I take a peak at the sky

Because I know I'm alone

And so my god is my dad

He's looking down on me no

Is that supposed to be mean

Was God the root of the joke

I guess you lose what you need

Cause I was needing them both

I got a lot of the beef

But not a piece of the pie

I got a scholar in me

I learned to leave em behind

I got a problem with me

And it's the reason I lie

I got a problem with love

And that's the reason I cry

I'm at the end of my rope

I guess the noose wasn't tight

I put a rope on my neck

It suffocated my mind

There's not a scratch on my throat

But yet I'm wheezing at night

I think the day that I lived

Might be the day that I died