Letras
I was in San Francisco, California. This is weird. You know what
They got in San Francisco? A gay mafia. What the? A gay mafia!
What the hell. Let me ask you something: If you're in a gay mafia
And you get whacked, is that good or bad? Alright? What the hell?
"Say hello to my little friend."
Where the hell'd that come from? Alright. I was in Los Angeles
California. I enjoyed going out there. There was a magazine
Out there that said, "50 is the new 40." You ever see that
One? "50 is the new 40." And then there was another one that
Said, "30 is the new 20." I sent it to my cousin. Hopefully
He can convince the judge that 16 is the new 21. Alright?
I seen Hugh Hefner. What's Hugh Hefner? About 80 something? 90 years
Old? He's old, I know that. Alright? He's walking down the street
With a Playboy bunny under each arm in L.A. I swear, I thought they
Was filming Weekend at Bernie's 3 when I seen him go down there
Good Lord, I feel sorry for him. Surrounded by all them good
Looking women, 80, he can't do nothing, you know? He's like a
Little kid at Disney World. Too little to go on the really good
Rides, you know what I mean? He tries to hop on them supermodels
He ends up getting real dizzy and has to sit on the edge of the
Bed the whole night, you know? Eating crackers and drinking 7-Up
My buddy's like, "He's on Viagra." But a lot of good Viagra does if
You sleep through the whole boner
You're 83 years old, for God's sake!
Now I don't know if this is true or not, but I was reading
Somewhere that said that Viagra's, uh, one of the side effects is
It makes some folks go blind. How big are these things getting?
Poking people's eyeballs out with wings in this
Country. Unbelievable. I don't use Viagra, knock
On wood. Alright? I don't use Viagra. That's right
If I got trouble in that department, I'll just push start it
But they say Viagra ends in money trouble. I don't know
If it is or not, but I can see why. Who the hell wants to
Buy Viagra? It's embarrassing. Good Lord. That's why I
Say they want to pick up sales. Sell it at the Home Depot
Call it "wood preservative." Alright? That's what you do
I was watching a TV commercial, they had something on there
Cialis, give you a seven hour boner. Good Lord. What are you
Going to do the other six hours and fifty-six minutes? Alright?
Seven hours. What, are you going to take that thing fishing or
Something? You know what I mean? Yeah, it's the original pocket
Fisherman, right there. That's what I got. I'm going to cast out
And get a big red snapper on that thing. That's what I'm going to do
Seven hour boner. Give me a pill, give me a four minute boner
That's all I need. The rest is just kind of a nuisance
If you ask me. You'll be walking around town, look like you
Smuggled a Chico stick in your pants out of the Walgreens
I was in Las Vegas, we stayed at the Hooters casino, and
Went to the Hooters casino down there. Boy, a dealer flopped
A big pair when we were over there. My buddy went all in
I didn't know what happened. I was playing the slut machine all
Night, so I don't know what the hell. None of them had cherries
But here's what I want to say to you
Here's what I want to say: I like Las Vegas