i had my fun/back to the start

I had my fun 'til my fun turned in

To humiliation and a suicide scare

I try to lead with love but I hurt everyone

That gets close enough to show me that they care

I cry alone in my room or out back

With my finger down my throat expelling shame I can't bear

Every day I say I'm done 'til I see that setting sun

But tonight I'm gonna fight white knuckle

I lost my passion and my looks

My stomach's turning like a brook

I told my best friend I wanted to buy a gun

I don't know how I wound up here

Feels like I lost so many years

Spend all my time saying sorry to everyone

I don't know how I wound up here

The smallest thing brings me to tears

And once they're gone I am completely numb

I don't know how I wound up here

I resent the insight of life experience

All these lessons only bring me harm

All these battles only leave me scarred

Oh, how I long to go back to the start

Oh, how I long to go back to the start