How Do I Fight

The medicine cabinet is heavy with the weight of the years

I'm wiping the shadows away while I swallow my tears

You're smaller today than you were when the sun first arose

And I'm counting the breaths in the silence that nobody knows

I carry the water and straighten the sheets on the bed

While keeping the screams of my heart locked away in my head

I wear a smile like a mask so you won't see the break

But I'm drowning in every single decision I make

Your hands used to be so steady, so certain and strong

Now they tremble like leaves when the winter is coming along

I want to fight every demon that's clouding your sight

To stand at the gates and demand back your glimmering light

But the enemy here isn't something that I can outrun

It's a slow-fading clock and a long-setting summer sun

I'm exhausted from holding the world on my shoulders for two

While I watch the horizon slowly taking the best part of you

How do I fight for a soul that is longing for rest?

How do I choose when my love is put to the test?

I'm holding you tight but I'm wondering if I should let go

To the beautiful places that only the weary can know

It's killing me too, every inch of this long, bitter road

But I'll stay right beside you and carry the half of your load

Yes, I'll stay right beside you and carry the half of your load

I hide in the hallway to let out a desperate cry

Then I wash my face clean so you never have to ask why

I don't want my sorrow to add to the burden you bear

So I wrap up my grief like a secret that we'll never share

But I need you to see through the fog and the clinical grey

That I'd give up my life just to keep you for one more day

We're both so tired of the monitors ticking the time

Of the mountain we're forced to collectively, painfully climb

Is it selfish to keep you? Is it mercy to say goodbye?

To look at the stars and stop asking the heavens why?

My love is a tether, but maybe it's turning to chains

As I try to protect you from all of these physical pains

I'm right here beside you, through every rattle and sigh