Letras
I just got a spouse; we bought a fucking house
In unincorporated Snohomish county
Guess I’ll settle down, suburbanize, sell out
Slip off my college gown and be a townie
This land is fucking gorgeous, I love this fucking lawn
Surrounded on all sides by thirty feet of hedge
Which I’ve gotta trim
Where did my weekend go? I just don’t fucking know
I just went out my door to do some yard work
The next thing that I see, the sky turned black on me
All these gorgeous plants are fucking hard work
How do these fucking yuppies own these fucking lawns
There’s just got to be a better way
When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
Show those plants the one in charge is you
With a hedge trimmer
Can you believe my hedge? It’s got a perfect edge
I’m outside with my trimmer every morning
The neighbors look my way, and glower as they say
“You really could have given me some warning”
In yard work I am baptized, my soul is cleansed anew
Mazel tov, today I am a man
When you’re feeling shitty cause your hedge is all fucked up
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut
Return your masculinity to you
With a hedge trimmer
I ain’t got no HOA (So I gotta trim my fucking hedge)
Got a 20-foot driveway (So I gotta trim my fucking hedge)
Neighbors come by every day and then critique my hedge on Facebook
I just looked out my door - no neighbors anymore
And winding down the street, a trail of bodies
I heard a piercing yell, just like a hound from hell
My yard was overrun by fucking zombies
And in that very moment, I knew what I must do
I went to the garage and found my friend
When you’re seeing zombies creeping through your neighborhood
There’s just one thing that you can do
Go buy yourself a Black and Decker PowerCut