Highs And Lows

Highs and lows (Buckroll)

Highs and lows

Goin' through shit that nobody knows

With a smile on my face, don't let it show

But inside, man, this healing movin' slow

Man, I tell him that I love him, but shit, I don't even know

Should I listen to my mind or to my heart? I think both is better

I'm equipped for the storm 'cause God knows the weather

And this new version of myself, me and him chose together

Me and baby daddy not together, but nobody know me better

I miss baggin' money, flippin' packs, and spinnin' blocks

I miss sittin' on the porch without worry 'bout bein' shot

I miss life before women glamorized bein' a thot

Long as you throw them hands, don't matter if you win or not

But then the raid came, then they wired you

And they took you, I was hurt and I was tired, too

Taught me to be tough, so for this lifetime, I admire you

And I became everything I aspired to

Fuck disappointin' me, you ever disappoint your mama?

And you don't even wanna scar her with your trauma

So you lie and tell her everything's alright

Even though you lay in bed with demons every single night

This type of life was only meant for a soldier at war

Some shit I wish they would've told me before

They probably did, but I never listened

My new self is now my only competition

I'm so thankful for this life, I hate the fact I can't be happy

I hate the fact my son is growin' up without a daddy

I hate they know lil' sis, but they'll never know lil' Maddie

I hope one day I find some energy without these Addies

I hope the world feel my soul, I hope they feel it real deep

I hope they don't just love my music, but they fall in love with me

Because my soul is in these verses and my heart is in these songs

So if you real, turn this shit up and fuckin' sing along

And the ones that turned they back were the ones I least expected

This grudge is for my son because he forever affected

They call me with that money for your life, they got rejected

And I pray every day, so just know that I'm protected

Yeah, it's 'bout a bitch, right?

We in the streets, so this how we live, right?

Nah, gotta make a change in this shit

Or I'll fuckin' go insane in this shit

Highs and lows

Goin' through shit that nobody knows

Chasin' happiness, not money and clothes

I do this for my bitches, man, I do this for my bros

I finally think the highs start to balance out the lows

I gotta love myself, it really shouldn't be this hard

But it's a different story when you damaged and you scarred

And you know that you so different, but the world don't understand

I let 'em feel how they feel and just be who I am

Nobody savin' me, it's hard for me to swallow that pill

I say I'm clean, but get a Xan and I swallow it still

Drugs and money, homies actin' funny

Burner by the tummy, prayin' one day he gon' love me

The streets like an addiction, I'm withdrawin' every day

I swear I'm off for good, I told my mom I could stay

'Cause them lows, they got as low as they get

A lot of bros, they done switched, ain't no time for no fits

Vulnerability is power, so I live in my truth

Pull these verses out my heart and then I put 'em in the booth

And it's a lot of differences between me and you

I always say that if you feel me, then I'm feelin' you, too

You get chills when I rap, then we gotta relate

It's so much love in my heart, why they carryin' hate?

They tell me rap about pussy, I'll blow up faster, I'll wait

'Cause what I stand for is a valuable message, it's no debate

These girls fallin' right into the trap with they set

They all preachin', they all talkin' 'bout ass and some sex

Thinkin' men know I'm a bag just to talk and connect

Honestly, that's just a mindset I could never respect

What if the roles change? He want you to pay him for his time?

And give him money 'fore he get to know your mind?

Stop glamorizin' the fact that your pussy is the prize

'Cause the prize is in your soul and it's who you are inside

Highs and lows

Goin' through shit that nobody knows

With a smile on my face, don't let it show

It's gettin' blurry when I talk 'bout friends and foes

But I'll always be a friend to a friend, Lord knows

Lil' sis