Here Comes The Judge

Hear ye, hear ye

This court is now in session

His Honor, Judge Pigmeat Markham presidin

Hear ye, hear ye, the court of swing

It's just about ready to do that thing

I don't want no tears, I don't want no lies

Above all, I don't want no alibis

This Judge is hip, and that ain't all

He'll give you time if you're big or small

All in line for this court is neat

Peace brother, here comes the Judge

Here comes the Judge

Everybody knows that he is the judge

Everybody near or far

I'm goin' to Paris to stop this war

All those kids gotta listen to me

Because I am the judge and you can plainly see

I want to big 'round table when I get there

I won't sit down to one that's square

I want to lay down the law to them that brought it

I'll bust some head because I am the judge

He is the judge, he is the judge

Who's there? I is. I is who?

I is your next door neighbor

Order in this courtroom, order in this courtroom

Judge, your Honorship, Hi sir

Did I hear you say "Order in the Court?"

Yes I said order in the court

Well, I'll take two cans of beer, please

He is the judge, he is the judge

Everybody knows that he is the judge

I had a chat with Ho Chi Min

With cheap rice wine and chased with gin

Won't take long unless I miss my guess

I'll have you out of this doggone mess

I sent a cable to Bob and Mac

Let them know I'm comin' back

Sit right down with Rock and Nick

Teach them boys some of Pigmeat's tricks

Oh, oh judge, your Honor, Pigmeat said

"Don't you remember me??"

No, who are you, boy

Well, I'm the feller that introduced you

To your wife... to my wife?

Yeah, life! You son-of-a-gun you

Come November, election time

You vote your way, I'll vote mine

'Cause there's a tie, and the money gets spent