Loss

What you know about loss? Losing everything you cherished

Once it was castle living, now you're outside like a terrace

Hugging my kids one day, the bomb drops and I'm a terrorist?

Gotta be honest, looking at my life, I feel kind of embarrassed

Family tree cut down, that's why I can't bear this

And this pain hit me harder than a bare fist

Demons claw me through the night, like a bear's fist

Hold up, pause. God, do you even know what fair is?

Cause you taking me for rides like on a ferris

Feeling missing all my class like I was Ferris

Adversity schooling me, hard lessons from marriage

I feel I've been double-crossed, guess I'll just perish

I'm engaged in warfare in this fiery ring

Devil baiting me with carrots and he's taking his swings

Knocks me down and he vows that he's my true king?

I just lay here and be, cause my king beat that sting

Loss, a daily reminder like those dirty clothes tossed

Now I'm getting food hampers from the building with a cross

As I'm walking out, thinking of my children's high cost

I'm reminded of sins, high cost at the fross

In a second, life goes from dubs to many L's

From all those loving hugs, to the open gates of hell

Arms open wide, waiting for that embrace

But now they're just open, and they're begging for grace

I lost my place in line, guess I'll just check out

Suicidal thoughts at my Dr. getting checked out

Antidepressant pills, man, you know I'm a fresh-out

God, please fill me up, wash out all of my doubt

Feel deserted, like a 40-day drought

I'm tempted for 40 days, these demons they're bearing down

Once had all this life, now life is barren now

Arrows with that arc, but they're aim at the holy ground

Lost

Lost, makes me feel like digging a hole deep in the ground

Buried in the dirt, you can stop and smell these roses now

Makes sense why Jesus wore a thorn crown

Because he died on that cross, but then he rose out

Basement room, darker than an ancient tomb

Can't get up in the morning, cause the morning all consumes

And NF said that, well, this mansion's got so many rooms

And every one of them is filled with racks of costumes

Mask this pain with social media, as my Novocaine

Take a hit of Netflix, like a nose full of the cane

I'm not able to walk anymore, I'm limping with a cane

Get this picture while you think I feel like I have framed?

Not eating food, digesting tears

Reflected back now, digesting painful years

Requesting God's hands, but it doesn't feel near

I feel nothing but that anguish, the darkness, the fear

Dark nights of the soul, taking their toll

Why should I go on really living anymore?

A broken man who's lost to all pieces on the floor

I need your peace, Lord, please just give me more

I slip and I slide, I need to abide

Downcast soul is what I have deep inside

I'm listening to myself, but I'm not talking

Help me reason with myself and really start walking

Lift me out this pit, no longer dragged down

I just want to lose my broken, dirty crown

I'm looking up to yours, laying broken on the ground

Cause when I lost it all, God, you never let me down

I've lost so much now, I'm wrapped in heavy chains

Lies laying heavy like these boulders on my brain

Rocked like something flying out of David's sling

Reminded all again that the die is the gain