And I Woke up on

And I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today

Yeah-hey, eh-eh, eh

And I don't care if you're standing in my way

Better get the hell out of my way

Let's go, tell my boss man to save all that nonsense

He can call my phone but I remain unresponsive

Think that I'm awake, but I barely feel conscious

Maybe that's important to my blood alcohol content

'Cause it's still high from the night before, I was sniffing Adderall

Think somebody switched my moonshine with rubbing alcohol

Head beating like a speed bag

Woke up in tree sap in the bed of a king cow

There's plenty of things I don't remember

Like why, I got this new tattoo and who is Brenda

And who the fuck took a sawzall to my fender

You did, said you were customizing for winter

Huh, well here's an idea

Everybody here let me drink that much beer

So the evidence is clear that it's your fault too

And it's been happening for years, thank God we caught you, fuck you

And I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today

Yeah-hey, eh-eh, eh

And I don't care if you're standing in my way

All right, Danny Duke, I got you on this one, buddy

Better get the hell out of my way

Pissed off at my boss, so I'm scratching my balls

High-fiving when I see him like, what's up, dog?

Hi, girl, what your name is? I'm hoping you call

Treat my first date like work, I'm hoping to get off

I woke up with a half a bottle of Jack in my lap

Like ASAP, showed up in a skirt with a face cap

Crushing up, moving all pills on an 8-track

Looking for your girlfriend, show me where her drink's at

Hi, it's Chloroform, nice to meet you

Lay me down, girl, I am so beneath you

I apologize if I'm coming off like an asshole

Rocking just a tube sock that told me dress casual

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed

In your mouth is something you should try to protect

And to be honest with you, I prefer lying instead (uh-huh)

Game over when I'm wrecked, man, it's time to reset, I'm going off